To dream is to be a Hudson. If I could somehow show you what my internship was going to like according to the many day dreams I had about it before coming home to Calgary, you would weep. Not because they were so beautiful, although they were, but because they differ to poignantly from reality.
I envisioned a high rise downtown. Our office is in an almost decrepit business park, in the shadow of Chinook Mall, surrounded by auto parts stores and gravel.
I saw offices bathed in sunlight from the many windows, some shaded by contemporary frosting. I work in a corner of a room under door frames that aren't done being painted.
And when I say i work, what I mean is I sit at my desk, beaten to death and depression by boredom.
And that's the biggest discrepancy of all. It's not my surroundings that discourage me. It's not the setting, it's the plot. I knew I wouldn't be paid, but at least, I thought, I would work. Instead, I wake up early, get to work, and sit. I read web pages, I look for story ideas, I check my email, and I sit. And sitting next to me is the realization that I am sacrificing the potential to earn summer money for nothing.
I'm slitting my bank account at the throat in the prescribed manner, but the god of "experience and resume" isn't listening.
Today, I was almost jealous of the construction worker who boarded the train with me.
Almost.
2 comments:
what i've learned from my recent job find is that experience is really important and really it all depends on how you spin it. Who cares if it isn't really great, you will make it seem amazing when you tell them (Esquire) that you have experience doing everything at a magazine since you worked at one so small.
if it makes you feel any better the interns at ryan's work are freaking bored too. i think it is kind of the lot of an intern. and just think how great your blog can become with all this time. i mean... that is your very own magazine!!
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